The Unspoken Tenet of Transformation
"The only work that really matters is the work that no one sees. It shows you who you truly are, rather than who you say you are"
You can transform the external all you want but without an overhaul of the internal, you're really just the same piece of shit with a new paint job.
Think about it like a car with a new paint job and new wheels. It looks better and its perceived value will even increase, yet underneath the hood is still the same shitty engine with all of the same problems.
Put simply, a turd is a turd. You can cover it in gold and glitter but it is still a turd.
If you want to truly transform yourself, you have to liberate the internal.
So what is the the unspoken tenet of transformation? It is self-awareness.
You have to be able to look within, without rose tinted glasses and see all of the flaws, traumas, and negative beliefs you've swept under the rug.
It's not a easy task. It takes courage and accountability to lift up the rug and pull all of your skeletons and demons out from underneath it. The truth is, most people simply can't do it and would rather keep the rose tinted glasses on.
Why? Because it means they can continue to blame everyone and everything else for their shitty life.
I've done the work, it's confronting, it's an emotional process, and it hurts. I will forever be grateful that I had the courage to do it because it has helped me to change in a way I wasn't sure was possible.
The reality of the situation is you've created a fictitious character, a made up version of yourself that isn't real or accurate. More often than not it is a character that is far greater than we actually are.
Only once you've had the courage to truly face yourself in the mirror, can you begin the rebuild process.
The next step is defining what the best version of you looks like. Not the perfect version, the best possible human version.
What values do you live by?
What character traits do you possess?
What daily actions do you take?
How do you treat others?
What standards do you hold yourself to?
Who holds you accountable?
Ask yourself these questions, define the answers and write them down.
Long lasting transformation takes time and it takes effort. Visit this work daily, reflect on what you've done well, provide examples of where you've lived up to your values and standards.
Conversely, be self-aware enough to account for the times you came up short, you're human, it's going to happen. Write it down, learn from it.
You won't be perfect and nor do you have to be. Focus on slow incremental changes and over time your transformation will be undeniable.
Liberate the internal and no one can hurt you.
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